Back from the 2nd break.
Ah... I am bored.
But, I am in good mood. :)

我覺得我好幸福.
雖然一切過的像火車經過的一樣快.
可是我還是好快樂.
就算是很小很小的一個事情.
我就很滿足.

♥Kayy

Life is such a bitch.

♥Kayy

After the bad bad new day,

Okay. Not really bad.
But also kinda bad.
What am I talking about?

The result is I got in.
I am glad that Zaidi got in too.
But sad because some of the fun people did not manage to get through.
I will miss them luh.

Mixed feeling. :/

♥Kayy

Argh.
Wtf is the feeling I am having now.

Waiting outside ClubG room for the interview.
I seriously hate interview.
Rawrrrrr~

♥Kayy

I realised I hasnt blog for a week.
Had been rather relax for the past week.

Today would be a bad bad day.
Actually, I am not upset that I might get eliminated off the Main comm.
But, I am more upset because today would be the last day, all of us is going meeting together.
I dont really care whether I get in a not.
What I think is, If I dont get in, I will just continue my life being less stress and busy. I would have more time for my friends. If I get in, I will just continue to work my ass off for club:G.

Rawr. Today is a bad bad day.
I think I will cry today again.
Ahhhhhhh~

I wonder am I only the only thinking this way,
or the others are thinking the same way as me as well.

I just felt today is like some elimination round.
How sad.

♥Kayy

Had a bad bad day today.
Since the starting of the day, I felt miserable.
Upset because of certain stuff.
But Daniel and EeLing cheered me up a little.

ClubG meeting is bad bad bad. hahahas.
But also good good good.
What am I saying? Hahahas.

I voiced out how stressful I am recently,
what actually happened between my team.
How grateful that Zaidi is always helping me.
Seriously, when Zaidi said he isnt coming for the meeting, I almost cried.
Because I know something real big is coming.
I told Zaidi in the morning, if he fall, I will fall too.

I hasnt cried for some times,
and I cried today.
I just felt so sad that I felt so lonely today and also I hasnt been a good incharge.
Even though they all told me, I have done well or I am a good in charge.
But I know myself.
I am not a good leader,
because, I cant communicate with my member well.
Or maybe I have been too lenient on them.
I dont know.

I was wondering why I am making myself so stress?
Why must be carry all the burden myself?

Rawr.
But now at least I know Club G people treats me well.
They do care about me. :)
Anyways, Thanks to those who ask me to cheer up and comfort me.
Sorry to make you all worried because I cried.
I am just not someone who can overcome stress well nor talk to someone about it.
I would just put everything in my heart until I cant take it anymore.
I am just not used to talk to people about my feelings. :(

♥Kayy

Now in the 2nd break.
Just came back after lunch-ing with clique.
Came back early, therefore I am here blogging,

My feeling now is EMO.
Perhaps, I am thinking too much again.

But I feel uneasy.
Does he know how I felt? Or he is just pretending not to know it?
Maybe he dont need me in his life anymore.
I dont know.

But I know, if he is going to ignore me one day,
I would fall badly.

♥Kayy

Finally my brother allow me to use the computer.
BOO at him!
Cause I asked him since 3PM!!!

Yesterday,
went school for Mobsta wars dryrun.
I was late. (Sorry. :( )
But I had fun during the dryrun and know some new people from subcomm too! :)
After dryrun, lepak awhile with Steve, Roxaz, Khair and Ani because we are really bored.
And I am really lazy to move.
It have been awhile since I just lepak around with them.

After that, I mrt-ed and bus-ed to Sheena house.
Gabe and Terence came awhile after.
We ordered delivery from Pizza hut.
There goes all my money again. :(
Then we went down to the playground and chat.
And I kinda recall some of my past.
And realised why I am so afraid to give the chance.
In the end, it is not that I am finding the perfect one,
it is just that I am too afraid to get hurt again.

Around 11.30PM, we went home...
and chat with them on phone till I fell asleep.
I seriously fell asleep when they are talking,
I was really tired cause I woke up early yesterday too.

Ahhhhhhhh. My brother only say I am play until 8.30PM
so bad right?
Hais!!

♥Kayy

Finally weekend!
I had a tough and busy week.
And also a week full of emotion.
Excitement, Sadness, Happy, Anger and many more.

So many event and birthday planning.
Since school started, there is so many things to do.
I dont even get to walk with dreamteam to causeway point.

Omg. The time now is 9.08AM!
I need to run already.
I am late for dryrun!
I will blog later then. :)
I got so many things to blog.

Anyways! Today is Modi birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MODI!!
I LOVE YOU! <3

♥Kayy

Currently in Club:G room.

Things arent doing well this few days.

First, seeing people who are I shouldnt be seeing.
Now I find myself being selfish.
When someone treat me well or like me, i would hope they dont.
But when they move on, I will start thinking of them.
This is how selfish I am. Hahahas.
Cause they have been given me attention that I hope I would have,
but when they dont give me the attention, I feel sad.
So weird.

Second,
my temper is bad this few days.
Just felt that so many people are making me angry.
Hahahahas.
Maybe the problem lies on me.
I dont know.

Whatever,
I should talk something esle.
I am glad that I had made some friends in the class.
There is also someone who loves bbt and kpop like me!!!!!!!!
Shiok-ness.

And I still get to lunch with my lovely dream team! hahahas.
I still feel the most comfortable with them.
I can be myself whenever I am with them.
Cause they always understand what I mean.
Whenever I say something wrong, they would know I dont mean it.
I am so glad that I know them. :)

And last thing.

I dont know.
whether I am too used to this kind of relationship with him,
Or I have actually fallen for him?

Even in the past, he or even me myself dont notice it.
I had been actually quite over protective of him
and also jealous whenever he is with other girls.

Now I dont get to see him as often as last time,
I would actually miss him alot.
And also my feeling of the day seems to be dependent on his mood of the day as well.

But even I do like him, I wont tell him.
Because I dont want things like this become a gap between us.
And we wont be as close as now if I really tell him.

What should I do?

♥Kayy

First day of school is BORING.
And NiamNiamm pangseh me! BOOOOOOOOO!

Early in the morning,
I entered the class with unknown people except for Kalis.
Left my bags there and went out and chat with ClubG people.
And so dumb of me.
Today then I realised Fizzy is Year1. I always thought he is Year2.
WAHAHAHAS!

And I realised actually my class have a few people from my orientation group.
But I just dont really rmb them. (I have bad memory.)

Class was boring.
I think everyone are just not used to each other,
therefore the class is very quiet.

Webcam-ed Daniel and Eeling today too.
I miss e36P. :(
I miss laughing during classes.
I miss laughing during presentation.
I miss disturbing daniel during break.
I miss everything laa.

After school,
went makan at KFC with Daniel, EeLing, Royston and Kenneth.
This is when Niamniammmm pangseh me!! (He always ps me lo!)

actually suppose to go help out at school after makan.
But I suddenly felt sick, so I just left for home.

I am feeling stressful about the new class actually.
I am so nervous during presentation.
It just felt like the 1st day of school.
Totally lost the feeling of how to present.
And I am afraid for stranger. Hahahas.
The worse thing is my classmate's presentation skills are very good.
I felt inferior there. :(

♥Kayy

Last day of holiday.
I had been counting down since last week.

I am so looking forward to school because
that the only place that can keep me busy so that I wont think too much.
Hahahas.
I looking forward to webcam my dream team since we are not in the same class anymore.
But we are all at the same block!
How lucky.

♥Kayy

And another songs that I am addicted too.
And the lyrics is so sweet too...
If only Jinwoon sing this to me... *daydream*


A friend's confession by 2am

ggwae ohrae dwetsuh
nae mamee jogeumshik byunhagi shijakhanji
honjasuh gwaerohwuhhanji..
uhnjaebootunga neega ohrddaemada
nuhreul uhrlineun namjaga nuhmoona meewuhtsuh

charari naega nuhl jikineungae
naeuljido moreun saenggakee...

eejaeneun naega nuhl ahnahjoogo
saranghaejoogo shipdan saenggakee deuluhtsuh

Baby eejaeneun naegaewah
And be my lady
nuhmoona ohraedongahn jikyuhbwatsuh
mal uhbshi suhsuh
ahntakkawoon gaseumeul soomgimyuh

chingooroh, chingooroh jinaeya handaneun eeyuroh
mokgaji chaohllatduhn geu gobaekeul chamahyahaetsuh..
hajiman eejaeneun gobaekhalgae
nuhreul saranghae...

nae soneul jabgo nabakkae uhbdamyuh
nagahteun chingooreul dungae,
jeongmal keun chukbogiramyeo
byeonchi maljago mareul halttaemada,
jogeumshik jaraneun nae sarangeul nulluhtsuh

charari naega nuhl jikineungae
naeuljido moreundaneun saenggakee

jakkooman deuluhtjiman chamahtsuh
nuhreul eeruhbuhrilkkaba duryuhwoh, hajiman...

Baby (Baby) eejaeneun naegaewa (naegaewa)
And be my lady (lady)
nuhmoona ohraedongahn jikyuhbwatsuh
maruhbshi suhsuh
ahntakkawoon gaseumeul soomgimyuh (No)

chingooroh (Your friend), chingooroh jinaeya handaneun eeyuroh (I know)
mokgaji chaohrlatdun (chaohrlatdun geumahl)

geu gobaekeul (gobaekeul) chamahyahaetsuh (mahlhal su uhbsuhtsuh)
hajiman eejaeneun gobaekhalgae,
nuhreul saranghae...
I love you...


Translation.

It's been a while
since my heart has been changing,
since I've been dealing with it lonesome..
every time you came back,
I hated the guy that made you cry

I'd rather protect you,
although I don't know if it will make it better...

This time I'll hold you and love you
is what I thought

Baby, come to me now
And be my lady
I've watched you for too long
I stood there with no words,
hiding my pitiful heart.

As a friend, to remain as friends,
I had to push the confessions down my throat
But now I'll confess to you,
I love you...

You hold my hand and tell me you only have me
Keeping me as a friend,
you say it's a blessing
Whenever you say let's never change,
I had to push my feelings down

It might be best if I protect you,
not knowing if it will be better

I kept hearing it but I kept cool
I was too scared to lose you, but...

Baby (Baby) Come to me now (Come to me)
And be my lady (lady)
I've watched you for too long
I stood there with no words,
hiding my pitiful heart (No)

As a friend (Your friend), to remain as friends (I know),
I had to push the confessions down my throat (The overflowing words)

That confession (confession) I had to hold it in (I couldn't say it)
But now I'll confess to you,
I love you...

♥Kayy

This song by 2AM is super nice.

2AM – This Song

Yeppeun mokgeorreul sajugo shipjjiman
Meotjjin chareul taewo jugo shipjjiman
Yeppeun oseul ipyeo jugo shipjjiman o nan
Joeun gose deh ryeogago shipjjiman

Jumeoni eh neoeun sonen japineun ge eomneunde
Eotteoke neol jabeul suga isseo
Nae saenghwareun neoege eo-ulliji anneunde
Geuraedo nae gyeote isseojugenni

Jul su inneunge I norae bakke eoptta
Gajin georagon I mokssori bakke eoptta
Ige neol utkke mandeul sun isseuljji moreujiman
Geuraedo bulleo bonda niga bada jugil barae bonda

Neoneun gwaenchandago mareul hajiman
Naman isseumyeon dwendago hajiman
Haengbokadago neul malhae jujiman neoneun
Deo baraneun ge eopttago hajiman

Yeppeugo joeun geotdeul jaemitkko meotjjin ildeul
Neodo bunmyeonghi hago sipjjana Baby
Nae gyeote isseo jumyeon motaneun geol aljjana
Geuraedo nae gyeote isseo jugenni

Jul su inneunge I norae bakke eoptta
Gajin georagon I mokssori bakke eoptta
Ige neol utkke mandeul sun isseuljji moreujiman
Geuraedo bulleo bonda niga bada jugil barae bonda

I norae bakke eoptta
Jeongmal gajinge I mokssori bakke eoptta
Ige neol utkke mandeul sun isseuljji moreujiman
Geuraedo bulleo bonda
Niga bada jugil barae bonda

Niga bada jugil barae bonda
Even though I want to buy you a pretty necklace
Even though I want to take you out on a ride in a nice car
Even though I want to dress you in nice clothes
Even though I want to take you to nice places

Translation.

This hand that I put inside my pocket grabs nothing
How can I get you
My position doesn't suit you
Regardless, can you stay by my side

The only thing I can give is this song
All I have is this voice
Even if this makes you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept it

Even if you say it's okay
Even if you say it's okay if I have you
Even if you say you're happy everyday
Even if you say you don't what anything more

Pretty, good things; fun, cool things
You obviously want to do these things too Baby
You know that if you stay by my side I can't do these things
Regardless, can you stay by my side

The only thing I can give is this song
All I have is this voice
Even if this makes you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept it

I only have this song
I really have nothing but this voice
I don't know if this will make you laugh
But I still sing
I hope you accept it
I hope you accept it

♥Kayy

I still cant log in to Msn.
BOO!

But my sister tell me to log in by Ebuddy.


Anyways,
I got posted to E35D! :)
Classmate with Kalis again.
But I am a little upset about the posting.

Because since my classmate is mostly from STA.
But none of my classmate are from Club:G.
Sad.
Instead, They are in the class next door.
What a dumb luck. :(

but I am so glad that NiamNiammmm and Daniel is just directly two floor above me.
We still can go makan like last time right? hahahas.

Well...
And I got duty on the first shift and first day.
Probably there wont be many people as well.
:(:(:(

♥Kayy

My laptop msn went crazy.
Before I sent it to IT helpdesk, the msn was fine.
this two days i did not log in through my laptop msn until at night.
And it became Not responsing whenever I clicked signed it.

So I just uninstall it and tried to reinstall it.
But, I cannnot reinstall it.
I download the setup.
And install it till 73% and it got stuck there. =.=
It always got stuck when installing microsoft choice guard.
What should I do? I dont want to go school without Msn.

Should I go back to IT helpdesk?
But I doubt they can help me luh.

♥Kayy

Time to blog again.

Wednesday.
Went out with my Bowen friends to celebrate Wan's birthday.
Went to Vivo and watch movie, 'Fame'
After that we went to Marina square to have dinner.

During the outing,
I look tired and moodless.
But I am actually deep in thoughts.
I did think about CNWL. But not how much I miss him or what.
But, I am actually thinking to move on.
Maybe what Sheena say is right,
I will just have to put him somewhere in my loving memories.

Actually,
My empty heart is somehow filled by a little.
I am touched by someone.
I understand his feelings.
And I also know it is better to be love than to love.
I did have the urge to accept him.
But a second thought, I dont think I am ready for this.
I dont want to give him empty hopes.
I dont want to bring him up high and drop him down.
Cause I know the feeling sucks.

I dont know.
Somehow, I dont want to lose this friend.
Because, I have no faith in relationship anymore.
After seeing what my friends undergo,
it seems like nothing last forever.

Thursday.

Went to Compass point with Sheena and Gabe.
Ate at Pizza hut with them.
I am craving for pizza now. I should have ordered pizza instead.
Then waited for Wan at Mac.
When Wan came, we just sat in Mac aimlessly doing nothing, not talking much either.
Then we met up with Chris and Jackson and went into Compass Height.
So we just sat at the playground and talk again. (How bored!)
After a while, we took out the cake to celebrate wan birthday again.
It suppose to be a surprise but Chris spoiled it. ( Lazy to say how he did.)

After eating the cake, we went home.
AND I went home ALONE by 87, while the others took 159. (Rawr!)
I think I am dumb,
I should had took the Mrt to hougang instead since I alighted at hougang to take 62 or 113.
Nevermind.
The long bus trips is fine as long as there are 2AM songs. ^^

I am tired during the day as well.
I dont know why, I just get really tired the moment I go out. Hahas.
As well as still thinking about what I was thinking the previous day.

I want to sleep off my last few days of holidays.
But can I?

♥Kayy