I am tired and sleepy.
But I just cant bring myself to go sleep.

Cause I know if I sleep now,
I will probably(which I think for sure) wake up around 7PM again.
And I would be too awake to sleep early at night again.

I have a meeting at school tomorrow.
So I have to wake up early tomorrow.
I just have to endure till night
so that I would sleep well tonight!
And wake up early tomorrow.
I don't want to be a zombie like the previous meeting.

Don't find me weird.
This is just a way for me to adapt the change before school starts.
Cause apparently now, my bedtime is the time when I have to wake up for school.
So I have to change back the time when I sleeps.

BUT~
I AM SO TIRED NOW!!!!

and probably when Mum wakes up,
she is going to nag at me.

+edit
Of a second thought,
I think I shall sleep...
And set my alarm to noon.
So I don't sleep too much!

Because I don't want Mum to nag at me.
I should quickly run to bed and sleep already.
Night~ (I meant Morning~)

♥Kayy

I am bored.
1 more week to be bored until school starts.

But the last week of holiday seems so packed. hahas.
There's so many things i want to buy and do.

There would be meetings for club:g.
Ridzuan's birthday falls on this week as well.
There is a open house by Huz too which I am still considering whether should I go.

I need a haircut. ( My bangs are getting longgggg. and hair need to be layered.)
I get too lazy to striaghten my hair this days,
so I just tie it up when I go out.

I want to dye my hair too.
I dont like black hair. Hahas.

I need to get a new pair of contact lens.
The current pair I am wearing are hurting my eye if I wore it for long hours.
So I need to get a new pair ASAP.

I need to buy eyeliner too.
My eyeliner is becoming shorter and shorter.
I WANT to buy gel eyeliner. lol.

And if I got spare money to spend,
I want to buy a new pair of shoes.

But somehow I am broke. -.-
So many things to buy, not enough money to spend.

Hope money fly from the sky when I wake up!! XD

♥Kayy

Lalalalas~
I am in heaven now.
Very happy!!
I passed all my module for sem1.
I got B for all module, and C for Math.
C may look very bad,
But I am very contented already.
Cause, I did not take UT2 and my daily grades are mostly C.
Pass Math = I dont need to do math anymore!!

And I cant believe I pass UT3. Hahahahas.

So looking forward till they post us to different class.
I just hope they would post me with my STA friends.
AND not YKY!!! I got a bad feeling about that!

♥Kayy

This is a Fan song done for 2PM Leadja!
Park Jaebeom!
We are still waiting for you to come back.
Please be strong and come back...
We will always be waiting till you return to us.
This lyrics of this songs really expressed my feeling for him.

Please come back so that I could love you more.
I miss your smile, the silly leader and everything about you.

♥Kayy

I changed my laptop desktop wallpaper and added a super cool clock.




See my clock?
It is Super Junior clock!!
See the difference between two pictures?
The clocks even changed members...
Hahahas.

And my wallpaper featuring Mfbbt, 2AM,2PM, Suju and U-kiss.
I counted that there are 45 different guys in my wallpaper. LOL.
Mfbbt:15
2AM+2PM=ONEDAY :4+7=11
SuperJunior:13
U-kiss:6
Total:45.

Madness.

♥Kayy

A heavy heart...

so...
As I thought he would be...
he is a sweet guy.

But not towards me... but someone esle.
I am envious of her. very.


I miss those times...

When I saw him and walked past him at corridoor...
I would look down and try not to see him.
But, I was hoping he would notice me.

I miss those times...

When I saw him walking toward to school backgate in the morning.
No matter how tired I am,
I will still walk quickly.
And I just want to walk behind him.

I miss those times...

When I make excuses to go out of Art class to spray my work,
just hope to see him playing soccer from far.

I miss those times...

When I look across to the next block during Chinese lesson,
just hope to see him sleeping in class.
And always wish to be band into the same chinese class as him.
But instead I got to be with his friends. -.-

And so many many many memories just flashed back suddenly.

I know that he belongs to someone else...
And why am I still holding on?
I don't want to.
But I just let go easily,
cause...
I waited for 4 years.

♥Kayy

What I hate the most during holiday?

Going to school.
It takes me 1hour plus to just travel to school ALONE.
And I also need 1 hour to get ready to just go to school...

But I just have to go to school.
I used to love to go for meetings.
But now...
My motivation is not there somehow.

How I hope time flies quickly till school reopen...
I am sick of being at home at the time...
But I am lazy to leave home.

I think soon I will be afraid of sunlight already.
Cause I only wakes up at the night this few days.

Got to change and go to school again!!!!

♥Kayy

I dreamt about someone yesterday.
I miss that someone too.

How I hope I could go back to Secondary2?
5th July 2005.

I should have kept that feeling to myself.
Not letting anyone know.
So that he won't know too.

I used to have thoughts that liking him and waiting for him is enough.
I dont need him to like me back.
But sometimes I just cannot cheat on myself,
and tries to give up and move on.
Somehow I just failed... badly.

Even when I knew,
he is not the guy that I always thought.
Or rather, far from what I thought of him.
But I am still stuck here...
waiting aimlessly.

I wonder...
For so long since we last met,
Does he even think of me once?






♥Kayy

Before I go to sleep,
I hope to see you two in my dreams...


2PM's Junsu

2AM's JinWoon.

♥Kayy


I realised I really likes small eyes guys. WAHAHAS!
I am totally becoming a fangirl again.

♥Kayy

I have a meeting later in the morning.
And I have to wake up at 8.30am
But, what am I still doing in front of the computer?

Watching SNSD's HELLO BABY!
I am addicted to this show. The baby is so cute!
SNSD is so pretty too! I love Yoona! :)

while downloading wild bunny and some other 2PM video so that I can watch during the day time.

I MISS JAY!!!! RAWR.
But I disagree with Hottest decision for boycotting 2PM.
I know if 2PM is still doing well without Jay,
the chance Jay would come back as 2PM will be even low, or even no chance.
But this would be so unfair to the other member.
What if, If 2PM is not doing well, Jay dont come back and they get disband?
rawr. hais.

I am loving 2PM more.
Jaybeom, Junsu, Junho, Nickkhun, Taecyeon, Chansung and Woo young : 2PM
I really hope Jay would come back.
Pink Grandpa Leadja is always 2PM's Jaebeom, 2PM's leader!


I still cant sleep! :(
Anyways, i just chat with Daniel daddy online.
I MISS HIM!!
and also the other dream member, jason and Ee Ling!
Hope we can go out together soon. ^^

Okay! I shall go back to my Hello Baby! :)

♥Kayy

I am sorry.


Holiday are miserable.
I cant use the computer(with internet) whenever I want.
Because my idiotic brother hog with it every single day.
Rawr. I am really mad at him. :/
Cant he just get out of the house and work or make friends with REAL people.
Instead of everyday playing computer games.

Rawr!Rawr!Rawr!
Because of him! I cannot even check my webmail regularly.

I am getting excited for the new sememster to come.
New class, New friends.
Also, being with the usual friend lepaking.

Holiday makes me lazy.
Make me just wanna stay home and sleep.

♥Kayy

Now my feeling is depressing.
My beloved 2pm’s leader Jae bum quits 2pm and returned back to Seattle just because some anti fan found out a childish comment he wrote on his blog on how he hate Korea long time ago.
I seriously don’t understand why does the anti need to treat him like this?
Oh yah, needless to say. The anti fan are really famous of killing the idol.
Just like Dbsk’s Yunho incident.
But does really a need to have a suicidal petition over this case?
I think is stupid.

Poor Jaebum and the rest of 2pm member.
Heard that magnae Wooyoung cried so badly till fainted.
I wonder do the anti have some conscience?

Thinking in a brighter side,
Perhaps Jaebum leaving 2pm is right.
He suffered enough.

And rumoured 2pm will be finding a new member.
I hope not.
I don’t want the feeling that Jae bum is being replaced.
Jaebum is one of my favourites in 2pm.
And heard that next year, they will be coming to Singapore again.
This time without Jaebum.
I was really hoping to see Uncle Jay again. 

But now,
I only hope 2pm is alright.
Jun su, Nick khun, Jun ho, Taek, ChanSung and Woo Young will continue to shine. (:

♥Kayy

I am in verge of giving up of FF.
The reason I joined FF is because of my interest of filming.
But, somehow I dont felt belong.

During Secondary School period, I always wanted to go to N88(Chinese Mass Comm)
Because, it is different from the normal mass com.
It is in chinese.
I admit, I am a little cheena.
But doing production in chinese is what I wanted.
And this is what I cant find in FF.

Because, most of the active member are malay.
I am not racist.
I love every of them.
They are very nice and fun people to work with.
But somehow, I just dont get what they say.

I also want to finish my 'homework'
Actually, I did wrote my script already.
But I just couldnt find the perfect cast for my film.
Hais.

♥Kayy

Had been thinking a lot recently...

I am living in my imaginary world.
Imagine that you are still my Mr. Perfect
despite knowing all about the real you.
Why must I always fall into the irreality?



Someone bring me back to reality, please?

♥Kayy

Monday
Woke up early in the morning to go back to Bowen.
I miss travelling to Bowen everyday.
Just a 10minutes trip from home.
Unlike to RP, It will take me 1hour30minutes to go from home.

The feeling is so different.
I dont feel belong anymore.
Or rather, I feel superior in Bowen. HAHA!

We talked to many teachers.
Mdm Lim, Mrs Cheng, Mr Khoo etc etc.
And the one I am most afraid of, Mr Tan. :X





After that went for lunch at Hougang Point
and watch Band Slam at J8.
Lepak awhile with Sheena, Terrence and Gabe.
AND HOME SWEET HOME! :D

Tuesday.
Woke up early again.
CLUBG MEETING!!!
Ethan said, I am stoning.
I am in bad mood today.
VERY BAD.
Ate at Subway after meeting.
AND HOME SWEET HOME AGAIN!

&
Someone noticed my MSN pm: To love or be loved.
This two phrase looked the same but have a totally different meaning.
Sometimes, both can be used together.
But, I guessed not for me.

Ethan sent me a speech by Adrian Tan about Life and how to survive it which I find it very meaningful and true. *nod head with agreement*

A part of the speech which answer my pm.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone. Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation.

That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a
reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind
of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by
chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

♥Kayy